Alexabeth Elmaena bel'Nethrine
by Trinka
Summary: Just a character I wrote for an RPG I used to be in. Includes pastprofile and Accepted Arches tests. R&R Please
1. Alexabeth Elmaena bel'Nethrine

My name is Alexabeth Elmaena bel'Nethrine. I am 21 years old, and I have  
been a novice for 6 years. I was born in Arad Doman, yet I was raised in  
the Two Rivers; Emond's Field, to be exact. My mother "trained" me, you  
might say, in the ways of the Domani, but having been a simple country  
girl, I did not practice these...well..."skills" very often. And as I was  
forced to grow up too quickly, I have yet to find the need for any of it.  
  
When I was 12, my father died. How or by what force, we have still yet to  
discover. Torbin Camrilis, a friend of the family, found him out by the  
Waterwood one afternoon. There was no wound, no traces of poison, not even  
any other footprints, except his own, and those belonging to Torbin. My  
mother immediately began to accuse Torbin. Her reasoning was that there  
was no other that could have done such. The how and why aspects escaped  
her notice. Many tried to point out that it could have been natural  
causes. Some even went as far as to say that even had it been Torbin,  
there would have been some kind of marking, some kind of wound. She became  
so consumed it drove her mad. Literally. She died not long after.  
  
So consumed was she that she seemed to forget she had a daughter who still  
depended on  
her. Instead she began to unconsciously depend on me. She would never  
notice when I walked into her room, while she lay weeping in her bed, and  
set food beside her. She didn't notice my comings or goings, but the food  
was always gone when I would come back. She never noticed every morning  
when I would set out clothing for her to put on, or when I would draw her  
bath. I never complained. I've always hated when others are angry,  
especially when that anger is directed toward me, and I was sure she would  
become upset if I shook her world anymore. But, Light, did I want to  
complain! When she died, I almost didn't miss her. I did miss her though.  
I just missed the "her" she once had been. Not the "her" that left me in  
this cruel world all alone. For three days, I was left alone in the house,  
still doing all of the chores, cooking my own meals. It took the neighbors  
three days to remember that the bel'Nethrine's had had a daughter.  
  
The Camrilis family took me in. The first thing out of Torbin's mouth as I  
walked in carrying a few belongings was some kind of gibberish about how  
sorry he was and how he swore that he hadn't killed my father, and for the  
first time since my father's death, I wept. I wept since I had not had the  
time for it before. I wept until I felt as though my eyes could never shed  
moisture again. Then I wept some more. I've not since. Ever.  
  
After the day I moved in with the Camrilises I spent almost all of my time  
away from people. I would eat my meals in the room they had given me, and  
if I wasn't inside eating, or doing chores, I would be outside; usually  
around the Waterwood. I felt closer to my parents there, as though they  
were with me. Sometimes, I actually believed they were. I would sit on  
the bank, trailing my hands through the water, and suddenly, I would see  
them! They would be standing together floating above the water. They  
never looked like ghosts or apparitions; they looked like they were really  
there. The oddest thing was, whatever I imagined them saying, they would  
say. Not as though I was imagining it, but as though they were standing in  
front of me actually speaking these things.  
  
The first time this happened, I became desperately ill that night.  
Mistress Camrilis had been afraid I was going to die. I had been too!  
Maybe, I thought, my parents had been telling me I was to join them! "Oh  
Light!" they informed me I would call out, "Don't let me die yet!" The  
Light was merciful. As quickly as it came, it was gone, not too far into  
the next day. No one had any idea what had caused it. No one did, except  
crazy Mistress Magnagan.  
  
Mistress Magnagan had not lived in Emond's Field long, and she had some  
rather.strange ideas about things. When she first showed up, she never  
stopped crying! I could hear her each night, and she had lived three doors  
down. She became frailer as the days past, and everyone thought she seemed  
to have lost her will to live. Until she wed a local man. The two of them  
were very secretive, and her new husband was very protective of her. She  
would often sit outside their house and she would tell us stories. Stories  
of Kings and Queens and Aes Sedai. Those had always been my favorite. She  
told those stories like no one else. Aes Sedai, I remember her saying,  
were wise, and strong. The whole purpose of them was to keep the world  
safe. She told stories of bravery and courage and every one of them ended  
with so-and-so Sedai saving the world. None of her other listeners  
believed a word of it, but I soaked it up like life-breath itself.  
  
After I became ill, she pulled me aside, and told me something I almost  
couldn't believe, and something she had a very hard time saying. She had  
been an Aes Sedai! She had been stilled testing a ter'angrel back in the  
Tower. The pain of her fellow Sister's rejection and the loss of saidar  
had been the reason for her incessant tears when she had first come here.  
Then she told me the most shocking news of all; I could channel! My  
sickness had been due to my first use of the One Power. She then asked me  
several questions, many of which I didn't understand at the time.  
Questions like, if I was a wilder - and I must be, she said - then what was  
my block? And what had I done, when I had channeled? I didn't know how to  
answer either of those at first, but I do now.  
  
My block is as such; I have to be touching water. Whether trailing my hand  
through it, as I had done at the Waterwood, or standing ankle deep in it,  
it didn't matter, so long as I was touching water. I've also found that it  
doesn't matter whether salt or pure, new or used, (as repulsive as that may  
seem) clean or tainted, just so long as it was water. As for what I had  
done, I had conjured up my parents' forms and voices! Magnagan said she  
had never heard of the like before, but she could not deny the fact. As  
difficult as it was for her to handle, she was the one who first instructed  
me. Although she could never again touch saidar, she led me through the  
steps of sensing and surrendering, though most times, she stopped every few  
minutes to shed tears for her own loss.  
  
Later, Mistress Magnagan told the Camrilises everything, even her own dark  
secret. So, two weeks after my 15th birthday, I was shipped off to Tar  
Valon. I had wanted Mistress Magnagan to accompany me, but she claimed  
that the sight of the beautiful White Tower would bring back too many  
memories. Instead, Cosaal, the Camrilises 20-year-old son herded me there,  
as though I was one of his goats. He hardly spoke to me the whole way. As  
soon as we arrived, he left. He never bothered to make sure I was settled,  
never even said good-bye. He just handed me my things, looked me up and  
down once, and disappeared back into the crowded streets. I've never  
missed the life I left behind.  
  
As a novice, it took only one trip to the Mistress of Novices for me to  
decide I never wanted to go again, and I didn't. Unlike most novices, the  
pain and agony of things we were put though did not phase me. I'd gone  
through worse. Maybe not physically worse, but emotional was more  
tormenting anyway. I'm not one to pull pranks, and I've never found the  
sight of a bucket of water falling over someone's head funny. Where is the  
humor in this? Because of my "will for perfection" as some called it, I've  
not made many friends among the other novices. They seem to believe that  
I'm trying to show some sort of superiority. A superiority I don't believe  
I have. I just strive to do well.  
  
I've found that I have a slightly above average skill with healing, for  
which I've had hints from Yellow Sisters that I should follow that study,  
but my goal is to become a Green. The Green Ajah is not my goal because of  
their usual love for men, although, I do find that interesting. The real  
reason is that I seek to fight in Tarmon Gai'don. We will be needed help  
if we are to destroy the Dark One, and I consider myself a strong person.  
Strong physically, as well as strong in spirit. I do not have the stomach  
for death, but I'm not exactly weak-stomached. If I am forced to accept  
it, then I will accept it, and soak it in as I must.  
  
I've so far only found a weakness in sensing the power in others. I can  
feel that it's there, but unless I concentrate very hard, I can't tell how  
strong they are. I also have a weakness with earth, like most woman, but  
my skill with fire, water, and spirit, I have been informed, is quite  
remarkable. These are the main parts of my Conjuring. One of the only  
friends I made tried to teach me how to listen in on conversations, but I  
didn't see the use for that. My block was easily over-come though, since I  
hadn't been a Wilder for long. All they had to do was make me close my  
eyes and have me touch a bit of spiced wine, instead of water. I hadn't  
been sure what they were doing at first, but it worked. After I opened my  
eyes, I was still able to channel, and I have been without touching water  
since then.  
  
I have often thought about having a Warder. As I have become very fond of  
the out-of-doors, I will be wanting to journey. Also, I am planning on  
fighting in Tarmon Gai'don. Thus I will need someone to watch my back.  
The idea of marrying my Warder does not really appeal to me. Of course I  
don't know who he will be, so I can't say for sure, now can I? Since I  
have been paying attention to my studies so I can become Accepted and Aes  
Sedai as soon as physically possible, I don't take the time, as some girls,  
to gawk at the Warders-in-training (although, that's not to say I wouldn't  
like to sometimes).  
  
I have had a difficult life, to say the least, but I'd say I've fared  
rather well. I have slightly surprised myself with the vigor I have put  
into this goal. Especially considering that, before I found out about my  
ability to channel, I had wanted to become famous as a traveling singer. I  
actually consider my life to being better than some. Although I have had  
hardships, it has only made me stronger. Some say it has made me stone,  
but my outward personality is not carried through to what you see if you  
look deeper. 


	2. First Arch Test

"The first time is for what was. The way back comes but once. Be  
steadfast."  
  
Alexabeth, standing naked in front of the Arches, felt the cool floor  
beneath her feet and suppressed a shiver. This was it. The next step in her  
quest. Unlike the shiver, she was not able to suppress the tiny smile that  
crept on to her lips, as she carefully stepped into the light engulfing the  
first arch.  
  
Presently, she herself was engulfed in the light. The glow surrounded her,  
it was part of her flesh. She felt a searing pain  
  
Alexabeth lay on the forest floor, a hand over her side. A pain she  
couldn't describe gripping her stomach.  
  
The way back comes but once. Be steadfast.  
  
She slowly raised her hand from her side and gasped as it came back covered  
in red. Why did this surprise her! She had just witnessed it's happening.  
As though remembering suddenly what was going on, she turned to her  
assailant. A man stood before her. A bloodied dagger clenched in his  
trembling fist.  
  
"I almost murdered your father," he spat at her. That confession surprised  
her to no end, but she couldn't imagine why. She had already been told.  
"Don't think I won't do the same to you!" He waved the dagger in front of  
himself, as though to prove he knew how to use it.  
"Cosaal, don't do this." Alexabeth whimpered as her sweaty hand stung the  
wound in her side. My father? But he's -- isn't he? -- what was I thinking?  
  
Still grasping her side and propping herself up with one arm, Alexabeth  
spoke as stern as possible. "Cosaal, you cannot do this to me. Our marriage  
has already been arranged. Killing me won't help you any." Alexabeth gasped  
as pain pulsated through her legs. "I know you fear me for some of the  
things I'm capable of, but, Cosaal," she whispered "I've always loved you."  
Her words confused her and she almost took them back. Take them back? Why  
take back the truth? She almost shook her head with bewilderment, but any  
kind of moving hurt far too much.  
"Love?" he snapped back. "You say you love me, and yet the wind blows me  
off balance at a glare from you; the fire I start burns out if I criticize.  
You scare me half to death! You knew all along didn't you! You knew I had  
wounded your father, didn't you? Didn't you??" the last came out as a bark  
as he lunged toward her, dagger outstretched. Suddenly, the dagger spun  
itself and plunged deep into Cosaal's chest.  
  
"I hate you," he gasped as he pulled the dagger from his flesh. Suddenly,  
Alexabeth saw a silver arch behind Cosaal.  
  
The way back will come but once.  
  
"The Arch," she whispered.  
  
Cosaal gurgled as he spit up blood, still grasping the dagger, his knuckles  
turning white with the strain. "Fine, kill me, witch. I've already told  
everyone what you are. They're sure to be on their way. You can let them  
get here first," his voice dropped a notch as he lost more blood, "or I  
could kill you now."  
  
Be steadfast.  
  
"I can heal you, Cosaal," she said as she moved slightly toward him. She  
grimaced as a sharp sensation dug into her stomach. "If you'll trust me."  
  
The way back -  
  
"Never witch! DIE!" Alexabeth somehow moved from his reached, knocking him  
off balance, and falling on his own blade.  
  
I can heal him... She thought she heard voices in the distance. The sound  
of an angry mob. I can heal him! She moved toward him, and caught sight of  
something. The arch.  
  
-- will come but once.  
  
"I CAN HEAL HIM!!" she screamed as she threw herself through the arch. The  
pain subsided; the aching in her chest remained.  
  
She stepped out of the arch and collapsed to her knees. "I could have  
healed him," she whispered to herself.  
  
"Tell me it's not true. Tell me it wasn't Cosaal that murdered my father.  
Please. Light, please!" not expecting there to be anyone near enough to  
hear, let alone answer, Alexabeth sat back on her heals, and wished she  
could cry. 


	3. Second Arch Test

"The second time is for what is. The way back comes but once. Be  
steadfast."  
  
What is? Alexabeth thought, How will this be a test? My life is as  
uneventful as it's ever been... She stepped into the light. She became  
the light. The light was everything.  
  
Her head ached. She had been sitting here for hours. Paper after paper  
had been picked up, read and discarded. She had enough paper cuts on her  
fingers to prove it.  
  
The way back comes but once. Be steadfast.  
  
She looked up from the paper she'd been reading, but no one was there.  
Great, she thought, I'm starting to hear voices.  
  
Alexabeth picked up the next paper on the stack. She read through it  
twice, thinking she must have read something wrong. "How did this get into  
the pile of penances??" she asked herself hoarsely.  
  
She stood up quickly, knocking her chair over backward. "Light!" she  
hissed as she tumbled over it on her way out of the room. Her two Warders,  
Drekar and Tibion, straightened hurriedly as she flew out the door and down  
the hall. She turned back to give them a look that could only mean "What  
are you waiting for?" They shrugged to each other and galloped after her  
to keep up.  
  
"Mother," she spoke softly, after being granted permission to enter. She  
left her Warders outside, much to their disapproval.  
  
She tripped over to the Amyrlin's desk with as much dignity as she could  
muster under the circumstances. "What is this all about? Do you know?"  
Alexabeth dropped the slip of paper before Kaydrienne Sedai and stepped  
back to gauge her reaction.  
Kaydrienne lifted the paper and read it quickly. Then, as Alexabeth  
herself had done, she read through it a second time.  
  
"Do you know where this came from, Daughter?" Kaydrienne quipped.  
  
"That's what I was going to ask you," Alexabeth answered breathlessly.  
  
Most of the writing was unimportant, but near the bottom Alexabeth read  
aloud "I am of the Black Ajah. Not by choice, but by necessity. They will  
strike soon, by any means possible. Watch your backs. Their goal is the  
Amyrlin's life."  
  
Suddenly, Alexabeth was on the floor with a pain in her temple. She raised  
her finger to feel the tender skin. Blood. She looked ahead of her and  
saw Kaydrienne sprawled on the floor several feet from where she had been  
standing, beginning to stir as well. On the other side of the room, stood  
Tibion. Drekar, she could see collapsed upon the floor outside the door.  
Just before the door, she saw a large Silver Arch, which seemed to pulsate  
with light.  
  
The way back comes but once. Be steadfast.  
  
She had a sudden urge to flee toward the Arch, but how could she leave her  
friend, her superior virtually helpless at the hands of her Warder gone  
evil. Then, a most sickening feeling was upon her. She was being  
shielded! The look on Tibion's face could only mean one thing.  
  
"You!" Alexabeth spat. How could they have missed the fact that one of her  
Warder's could channel? How did this happen?  
  
The look on his face became pained as he used to Power to trap her in a  
blanket of air. The shocked jarred sense into her. Oh no! The Arch! How  
will I make it back? .Wait. I'm not supposed to remember this! What's  
going on?  
  
As Tibion took measured steps toward Kaydrienne, Alexabeth tried to figure  
out how she could get to the Arch. I'll be stuck her forever! I'll never  
really become an Aes Sedai!  
  
Alexabeth saw something move out of the corner of her eye, but she was held  
in place enough to not be able to see clearly. By the time Tibion had  
reached Kaydrienne, Alexabeth could tell she had been shielded and held in  
place as well. She could also see more clearly what she had seen earlier  
in her peripheral vision. Drekar.  
  
Oh, Drekar, you have no idea how badly I need your help right now.  
Alexabeth looked back toward the Arch and could see it dissolving around  
the edges. She knew she had to get through soon. Can I really leave the  
Amyrlin Seat like this, even if it's not real?  
  
Her conscience was numbed by the sudden realization that Drekar had  
silently drawn his sword, and now had it positioned above his head.  
Alexabeth squeezed her eyes shut just in time. She heard a muffled noise,  
but didn't have the time to let it register. She was no longer shielded!  
She stood up and raced toward the Arch, without looking back. As she  
stepped through, she turned to see that Drekar had failed. His body lay  
lifeless on the floor and Tibion was now within range of Kaydrienne. Thank  
you my friend. You tried. I could not have asked for more.  
  
The light engulfed her. It pulsed through her veins. It made her cry out.  
Then it was over.  
  
"What a coward I am," she sighed as she dropped to her knees. "Forgive  
me." 


End file.
